February 17, 2011

Getting away from it all

I am sad! There are no words to explain how I feel. I know we bloggers have the reputation of portraying a blissful world. Not today...
I've managed to hide with pretty pictures and "cheery smiles" my struggles for a while but not today. NOT TODAY!

So much of what could possibly go wrong has gone wrong. I'm afraid there is more to come or that we may not be able to handle it after all. I'm worried I'm being punished, or not?? Is that really how it works?
My mind is going in so many different directions. Blogging helps. It keeps it focused. It helps me forget.

When carnival starts in three weeks I want to be here:

Dancing this

Strolling down the beach here

Eating the best Perro Hawaiiano (Hawaiian Hot Dog) here

But I can't and it hurts so bad!

In my perfect world money wouldn't mean a thing. The land would be here to share for all and there would be no boundaries. Men would come and go as they please. They would cross borders without harm on any side. Families and loved ones would never dwell in separation and anxiety. 

I will never forget where I come from.  I wish I could share more of you to the ones I love and to the ones who surround me.

Home. Where is home today? I dream of you today and have you in every vivid memory of who I am, on who I became! I had to let you go...

I think of my favorite musical and the song that helps me wipe away my tears.

"When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad"

My favorite girls

My favorite boy

My favorite food: Parrillada (Grilled shrimp, chicken and steak)

I recognize fully that my favorite things give me just one more reason to keep going! One more reason to let go and move on. One more reason for tomorrow.


  1. This is so sad. I understand your anxiety about bad stuff happening. I worry about that too. It will get better. Everyone has to go through the fire but you will come out on the other side.

  2. aww Vivian I love this post :) my mom missed Colombia every day. Your kids are so cute! and I love your blog. I will definitely keep up with it now. woo hoo. he he. love you! (nvr forget i was there when it all began) he he


  3. I have been there...I could use a good hot dog. I too wish money was in endless supply. When things get tough and they always do. I am reminded by a talk that Elder Wirthlin gave...He said, "We will all have our Fridays, but Sunday will always come" The Lord is just refining us for something great.

  4. Viv, this makes me so sad! especially since I just blogged about things being so good today. I know how badly you wanted to go to Colombia. You've had a rough week. Keep strong, you will be rewarded. Love you!